Only Human
by superwho-rhi
Summary: If you're wanting to read about my adventures with Sam and Dean...I'm sorry, but this isn't the tale for you. This is one tale, one finally story with them. My name is Lorelei, I'm a hunter with the Winchester brothers, and this is about how I was reminded of my fragile humanity...
1. Chapter 1

"Wait. Kevin?" I hear the unmistakable voice of Sam Winchester say. I immediately take the gun out of my hip holster, holding it in front of me. "Where's the tablet now?"

"Safe." I hear Kevin Tran say. The boy was supposed to be in my care…I had only left for a few minutes on a supply run. What was going on?

"Safe where?" Sam asks.

"I don't believe that's any of your business," I say, stepping around the corner. I train the gun on Sam, right between his eyeballs. I had a little grudge against him.

"Hey, hey, hey" a voice says. My blood runs cold at the sound of the voice. I had watched the owner of the voice disappear over a year ago, no trace of him to be found on this Earth. The gun falters a little as I turn my head to see Dean standing there, a hesitant look on his face as his eyes danced from me to the gun in my hand. "As long as it's safe, okay? Why don't you put the gun down, huh Lorelei?"

"Why should I?" I say, regaining my composure. All I wanted to do though was run over to Dean and bury my face in his neck and never let him go. But that grudge I mentioned against Sam was winning out.

"Lor, it's me," Sam says, holding his hands up and staring at the gun. "It's Sa-"

"Oh, I know it's you," I cut him off. "I'm not dumb enough to leave Kevin alone without proper demon spotting training. But, like I said…I didn't leave Kevin. YOU did!" A guilty look crosses Sam's face. Along with his brother, Sam had been MIA for the past year. Only, Sam was living a happy little life. "You shut the door in my face Sam!" I shout at him. "I went to ask you for your help and you shut the door in my face! Do you have any idea what me and Kevin have gone through this past year? Huh? No! You don't because you-"

"Hey," a voice says. I feel a hand on my arm and look to see Kevin looking me in the eye. "Stop, okay. The past is the past. Okay?"

I stare at him for a moment longer. Dropping my gun down to my side, I purse my lips at him. "Fine, whatever." Kevin had been my companion for the past year. He was probably the only thing keeping me from putting a bullet in Sam's brain right now. I put the gun back in its holster as I turn to look at Dean. "So," I say, crossing my arms over my chest. "Where've you been?"

"Purgatory," he says. "Long story."

The look in Dean's eyes told me he wanted nothing more than to grab me up as well and never let me go. "Tell me later?"

"You bet," he says, giving me a smirk. I return the smirk as he turns towards Kevin. "Were you able to read anything else off the tablet before you stashed it?"

"Only the stuff about closing the gates of Hell." Kevin tells him. He had told me about that line in the tablet a few days ago. "Forever."

"Come again?" Dean says, taking a few steps towards Kevin.

"Banish all demons off the face of the Earth, lock them away forever." Kevin says. "That could be important, right?"

Me and Kevin watch the two brothers exchange a look. As soon as Kevin had told me about the spell, I immediately thought about Sam and Dean. But, they were both gone so the possibility seemed like a long shot.

"Closing the gates of Hell forever?" Dean says, looking back at Kevin. The elder Winchester held an incredulous look on his face that matched his brothers. "Yeah. Yeah, that could be important."

 _~xxxxx~_

"You know you wouldn't really shoot Sam," Kevin says.

I turn my head to raise an eyebrow at him. "After everything we had to deal with this past year without him…yeah," I say, turning to stare at the front of the church again. "I was tempted."

"You know you wouldn't have," he says again. I just shake my head at him. Sam and Dean were outside…doing who knows what. I think they said they were getting more weapons. Me and Kevin sit in the pews in silence for a while until the prophet speaks up. "I think we should tell them."

"Tell them what?" I say, having gotten lost in my own thoughts.

"You know-"

"No," I say, shaking my head. "We're not telling them-"

"But they said-"

"We're not telling them Kevin," I say through my teeth. I turn to look at him, locking eyes with him. "Don't you dare go behind my back to tell them either. You got me?"

Kevin reluctantly nods his head. Neither of us says anything on the matter anymore as Sam walks back in. "Hey, Lorelei," Sam says, some reservation in his voice. I look up at him with a cold stare. "Dean wants to talk to you out by the car."

I stand up slowly, holding my stare on Sam. "Thanks," I say in a flat voice. I step past Kevin and walk my way down the pew and out the back of the church. Outside, I spot Dean bent over, digging around in the back of the Impala. "So," I say, leaning against the side of the car. Dean looks up from the guns he was unnecessarily organizing. "Purgatory, huh?"

"Yeah," he says, nodding his head and standing up straight. "Purgatory." I nod my head also, moving so he can shut the trunk. "You stuck with Kevin this past year?"

"Yeah," I also say. "You know, after he escaped Crowley. We've been on the run together."

"Hmm," he says, slowly taking steps towards me. "I'm, um, I'm liking the new look. You know…whole bad-ass leather thing."

"I thought you would," I say as he finally stops an inch away from me. "You're not looking too bad yourself, you know…"

"Oh really," he says, his face slowly getting closer to mine.

"Really," I whisper against his lips. He pauses for just a second before his lips finally reconnect with mine. My body moves of its own accord, arms winding around his neck, pulling the rest of him flush against me. He responds by wrapping his arms tightly around me, fisting a hand in my hair. We move so that I'm leaning against the car, lips moving like a dance. This was really the main component of me and Dean's "relationship". We knew the quirks about each other that others didn't. Could calm each other with just a touch, or set each other's veins on fire with another touch. It eventually festered into something deeper. Something neither one of us questioned, or really ever talked about. We just let it be. "I've missed you," I say as his lips make their way down to my throat.

"I was worried about you," he murmurs against the soft spot below my ear. He pulls back enough to look me in the eye. "You weren't really going to shoot Sam…were you?"

I roll my eyes as I push him away. "No," I say. I run a hand through my cherry-coke colored hair, banishing the just-made-out look I was sure it had taken on. "As much as he deserved it…I wouldn't have. Only for your sake, of course."

"I don't blame you," he says, leaning back against the car next to me. "Definitely deserves some sort of ass-kicking."

"Amen to that," I say. "Speaking of which…where's Cas?"

I look up at Dean when he doesn't answer me. His jaw clenches and then unclenches before he speaks. "He didn't make it out." I knew by his tone not to ask any further questions. That was one thing after meeting the Winchester three years ago I picked up quickly. When they didn't want to talk about something…it was never heard of.

"Okay," I say, nodding my head.

"You know he's going to try to apologize," Dean says.

I let out a groan. "Yeah…unfortunately."

"I think he does feel bad about it," he says.

"He should…the asshole."

 _~xxxxx~_

"Where's Kevin?" I ask as me and Dean walk back into the church. When we enter, Kevin is nowhere to be seen and Sam is bent over in front of a pew, digging around in a duffel bag.

"Um, getting his stuff together, I think," Sam says. He looks at me, giving me a blank stare.

I could tell he wanted to say something, but wasn't quite sure. "Alright Sam," I say, throwing a hand into the air, letting it land on my thigh with a smack. "If you got something to say, say it now or quit looking at me like I'm about to put a bullet in your head."

"Well, you almost did," he says, standing up straight.

"And you know that you deserve it," I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I know, and I'm sorry Lorelei," he says. "But I got out, I had a life…a dog even."

"Aww," I say, placing a hand on my chest. "You've just made my heart grow three sizes there Sam."

"Lorelei, don't-"

"Don't what, Sam?" I say, taking a step towards him. "Don't be totally pissed at you? I know about your happy little life Sam, and the dog too. I know about all of it. Cause remember, I went to see you." Sam's face goes blank, memories surely resurfacing. "You opened the door, looked right at me, and when whoever the girl you were shacking up with asked who was at the door you looked right at me and said, 'Nobody, just some kid's playing a prank probably.' And then you shut the door in my face Sam." My chest was heaving by this point. Anger was surging through me, trying to keep the tears that desperately wanted to fall at bay. "You didn't even give me a chance to talk! You just called me 'nobody' and shut the door in my face!"

"Lor-"

"Screw you Sam," I yell at him. "I went to you for help and you shut the door in my face! You were supposed to be my friend…and help me! Instead, you shack up with some-"

"Hey, that's enough," Dean's gruff voice cuts me off as I feel a hand wrap around my arm and his arm wrap around my waist. I look down and see that my hand had moved towards my gun, ready to unholster it. I hadn't even realized.

"What happened to you this past year?" Sam says, giving me a look of almost pity. "You were so…"

"Sweet? Nice? Caring?" I spit at him. "Yeah, I guess doing this on my own for the past year caught up with me."

"That's not all," another voice says. We all look behind Sam to see Kevin standing there.

"What do you mean?" Dean says. I wriggle my way out of his grasp.

"Nothing," I say, walking over towards Kevin. "Nothing else happened," I say between my teeth.

"You need to tell them," Kevin whispers to me.

"Shut your mouth," I spit back at him.

"Somebody want to tell us-" Sam's question is cut off. Suddenly, the whole church starts shaking. Demons were coming.

"We got company." Dean says. He moves over to the duffel bag, handing Sam the demon killing knife. "Sam."

Sam takes the knife from Dean, looking at the weapon his older brother had picked up. It was a crude looking club/knife of some sort. "What the hell is that?"

"It's Purgatory." Dean says, looking at the weapon appreciatively.

The doors to the church fly open and two demons walk in. I move to stand in front of Kevin, brandishing my gun from my other hip. The one with holy water soaked bullets. They wouldn't kill a demon…but they slowed them down pretty good.

"Dean Winchester." One of the demons say. They both start to walk towards our group. "Back from Purgatory."

"Spanky the demon." Dean says. "Yeah, I heard about you. You're the one who uses too much teeth, right?"

The demons rush for Dean and Sam, causing a fight to break out. I plant a couple bullets in one of the demons as it comes for me. It pauses for a moment, smirks at me, thinking the bullets were useless. I return the smirk as it comes towards me and then stops, screams erupting from it. Sam stands up behind it, planting the knife deep into its back.

We both look to see Dean struggling with a demon, who had him in a choke hold of some sort. "Dean!" Sam shouts. He hands his brother the knife, who also plunges the knife deep into the other demons chest.

"Hello, boys." The gravely British accent greets our ears before we see the owner. All four of us look to the doorway to see Crowley and Kevin's girlfriend, Channing, standing there. Channing's eyes flash black briefly. "Dean. You're looking... well, let's just say Purgatory didn't do you any favors. Where's your angel?"

"Ask your mother." Dean says as the King of Hell starts sauntering towards us.

"There's that grade-school zip. Missed it. I really did." Crowley says to Dean before turning to Sam. "Moose. Still with the pork chops. I admire that." Sam just stares at him as Crowley turns towards me. "Aw, Miss Lorelei, you are looking ravishing as ever. Giving me dirty thoughts though with that-"

"Let Channing go." Kevin thankfully says, cutting off Crowley.

"That's not Channing, Kevin." Dean says. "Not anymore."

"What an awful thing to say to the boy. Of course it's Channing. Kev." Crowley says, focusing on Kevin. "Last time we danced, you stole my tablet and killed my men. Tell you what. Come with me now, bygones. And I'll let the girl go back to... What's-the-Point U."

"He's lying. You won't get Channing back." Dean says. "She's probably dead already."

Crowley shakes his head as he lets out a sigh. "Will you please stop saying that?" He turns to face the demon next to him. "Let the girl speak."

He snaps his fingers, causing Channing's eyes to flash black and then shut. She sways a little before open her eyes and looking around the room, finally settling on Kevin. "Kevin?"

"Channing?" Kevin says. He starts to take a step towards her, but I grab his arm, stopping him from getting any closer.

"What's going on?" Channing asks, panic in her voice.

"There's a demon in you, and you're going to your safety school." Kevin says quickly.

"What?!" Channing says. I was sincerely hoping she was upset about the demon being in her.

"But it's gonna be okay." Kevin tells her.

"I-I-I-I just – I can't." Crowley says, shaking his head.

"No, no, wait-" Kevin shouts as Crowley snaps his fingers, causing Channing's eyes to go black again. "Okay. I'll do it."

"Kevin-" Sam starts to protest, but Kevin cuts him off.

"Myself for the girl. But this ends. All right?" Kevin says to Crowley. "No fighting, no nothing. It ends."

"Can't let you do that, buddy." Dean says.

"Or what? You'll kill me?" Kevin snaps at Dean. I stare at my companion…this wasn't like him. He wouldn't just give into Crowley this easily. He turns to look at the demon. "I'll grab my stuff."

"Chin up, gentlemen." Crowley says as Kevin leaves the room. "I'm a professional."

"This ain't over by a long shot, Crowley." Dean says.

"Really, Dean, who writes your stuff? A marshmallow? Come on, Kevin. Chop, chop." He calls out into the church. We're all met with silence. "Kevin?"

Crowley takes a step forward as Dean raises the knife. Crowley just stares at Deans as he snaps his fingers, causing the knife to glow red. Dean lets out a yell as he drops the knife, shaking his hand like he had been burned. "Really, boys?" Crowley shakes his head as he walks past us and yells out for Kevin again. The sound of Crowley's shoes on the old wood floors stops as I I move over to stand next to Dean, picking up the knife. Suddenly, I hear a rush of water and Crowley and Channing screaming in pain.

"Lorelei, Sam, Dean, run!" Kevin yells as he comes running into the room. The five of us run out of the church, grabbing our stuff and make for the Impala. I slide into the backseat, Kevin following behind me as Dean and Sam slide into the driver's and passenger's seats respectively. The car roars to life, starting to speed away from the church. I look out the window with Kevin, back at the church as we drive past the door.

As we drive by, Crowley and Channing stand on the little porch, watching us. Then, Channing's neck twists in a sickening way. Kevin lets out a yell as I grab him and pull him back away from the door.

 _~xxxxx~_

A few hours later, when the sun was setting high up in the sky, Dean finally pulls over at a convenience store. Nobody moves at first, but Dean's phone rings. "Hello?" He says. He listens for a moment before speaking again. "Wrong number." He hangs up the phone before putting it back in his pocket. "Automated jackass. All right, anybody want anything?"

"I'm good." Sam says.

Dean turns to look back at me. "I'm gonna run in and get a few things," I say. Kevin remains silent, just staring at a spot on the seat in front of him. "Kevin? How you holding up?" I ask him quietly.

"Awesome. The king of Hell just snapped my girlfriend's neck." He says, turning to look at me, giving me an ironic smile. "How about you?"

"All right, listen to me." Dean snaps at Kevin, making the prophet look at him. "I'm sorry about your girlfriend, okay? I am. But the sooner you get this, the better. You're in it now, whether you like it or not. That means you do what you got to do. I'm hitting the head."

I shake my head as Dean gets out of the car. "Hey," I say, hitting Kevin on the side of the leg. He looks at me with sad eyes. "I'm sorry about Channing…but don't ever get smart with me like that again. Got it?" Kevin nods his head as he mumbles an apology. I also get out of the car and walk into the store. Grabbing the few things I need, I look for Dean, but never see him come out of the bathroom. I know him well enough though. Walking out of the store, I round the corner towards the back instead of heading for the car.

"Listen, you got an emergency, you call me, you understand?" I hear Dean say. I stop behind the large ice cooler and listen to him talk. "Yeah."

A second later, he lets out a sigh and starts to walk towards me. "Was that your other girlfriend?" I say as he starts to walk past me. He stops and turns around, a startled look on his face. "You know the restrooms are inside…right?"

"Yeah," he says, nodding his head. "You know, I just…"

"You were just talking to…" I goad him. There's no way he could get out of this. "Who were you talking to Dean?"

"What?" he says, holding his arms out to his sides. "Do you not trust me?"

"Oh don't turn this around on me," I say, standing up straight. "You know I do. Do you not trust me?"

"Well it looks like we're both hiding something from each other then," he says, taking a step towards me, trapping me in the corner of the wall and ice machine. "Oh, don't think I've forgotten about what Kevin said right before Crowley showed up."

My face drains of blood, I really, really did not want to tell Dean about this…not now. "I don't," I say, shaking my head and fumbling for words. "Kevin didn't…he didn't know-"

"What aren't you telling me Lor," Dean takes another towards me, fulling pressing me into the corner. His hands come to rest on my hips as his eyes lock with mine. "Just tell me."

Like I said…Dean knew what to do to make me tick. "I- um, I had a health scare…a few months back," he may know how to get me to talk…but not tell him the truth.

"A health scare?" he says, his eyes going wide. "Wha- are you okay?"

"I'm fine now," I say, nodding my head. "My um…I just had to have my gallbladder out."

"Is that it?" he asks. I nod my head as he lets out a sigh. "Okay, but you're good right…like you're okay to be out here with us?"

I nod my head again. "Yeah, I'm good," I say. "So, who were you talking to?"

"A friend," he says. I raise an eyebrow at him, waiting for more info. "Gallbladder my ass, Lorelei." I start to protest, but he cuts me off. "Look, you don't want to tell me, fine. But just know, who I was talking to, he's a good guy. One you don't need to worry about. Okay?"

I lean my head back against the wall, keeping eye contact with him before shutting my eyes for a moment. I open my eyes and pick my head back up. This conversation wasn't over by a long shot. "Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next few months, I, Sam, and Dean quickly get back in the routine of working together. We go on hunts, fight Crowley, and rescue Kevin…a couple times nothing that we haven't done before. As odd as I sounds, I settle into it, start to enjoy life again. Dean and I become close again, basically picking up where we left off before he got sucked into purgatory. Sam and I also eventually make-up, our easy brother-sister type relationship rekindling. I even got to see Charlie, who I got along with easily, again. Life was, almost, like it was before Dean went to Purgatory.

It wasn't Dean leaving that changed me…changed my whole world. It was what happened while he was gone…the reason I had sought out Sam's help. Once I had it resolved, I thought I was good. Like I said, life was returning to normal. Until the man fell through our hotel room door…

 _~xxxxx~_

I have to admit…sitting in the back of the Impala next to Sam and Dean's grandfather was strange. But, not as strange as the fact that he was probably as young as me. Oh, and the fact that him and a red-haired demon had busted through our closet door earlier that day.

After we had finished eating and making our way through the awkward introductions, we all piled in the car and headed down the road. We end up driving for almost four hours to Normal, Illinois, per Henry Winchester's orders. In the heart of downtown, we pull over in front of some stores, most boarded up. Out of the car, we all walk down the sidewalk mainly following Henry. Finally, he stops in front of a store and darts down an alley, looking up at the header above a doorway in confusion.

"What's going on here?" he says. I glance over his shoulder to see him looking at a strange symbol carved into the door. "No." he says in a low voice.

"All right, well, this was enlightening." Dean says, clapping his hands together. "Let's hit the road, huh?"

"Dean," I say, hitting him on the stomach. He stares at me, giving me an incredulous look. "Give him a minute."

"We just spent four hours driving, okay?" he says. "All he did was stare out the window and request Pat Boone on the radio. He had his time."

I start to argue with him, but Henry cuts me off. "It's just a facade, a way to rook our enemies into believing we are housed elsewhere."

"Okay, enough with the decoder talk." Dean says. "How about you tell us what this whole 'Men of Letters' business is, or you're on your own."

"It's none of your concern." Henry says, turning to look at us.

"Why, because we're hunters?" Dean says. "What do you have against us?"

"Aside from the unthinking, unwashed, shoot-first-and-don't-bother-to-ask-questions-later part," Henry says. "Not much, really."

"You know what? Wait a second." Sam says. "We're also John's children."

"You're more than that, actually." Henry says, letting out a sigh. "My father and his father before him were both Men of Letters, as John and you two should have been. We're preceptors, beholders, chroniclers of all that which man does not understand. We share our findings with a few trusted hunters – the very elite. They do the rest."

"So you're like Yodas to our Jedis." Dean says with a nod. Henry stares at Dean, not understanding the reference. "Never mind. You'll get there."

"Okay, but if you guys were such a big deal, then why haven't we – or anyone we know – ever heard of you?" I ask.

Henry looks at us for a moment before pursing his lips. "Abaddon." He turns and opens the door to the shop and walks inside. The three of us follow him, walking through the halls of the comic store.

"Henry. Why?" Sam asks. "Why'd she do it?"

Henry stops and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small box. The box was a golden color, symbols carved all over it along with the same symbol that was on the door. "I think for this."

"Okay, what's that?" I ask.

"I wish I knew." Henry says, putting the box back in his jacket pocket. "Abaddon attacked us the night of my final initiation. All secrets were to be revealed then."

"Let me get this straight." Dean says. "You traveled through time to protect something that does you don't know what from a demon that you know nothing about?" Henry turns his head to look at Dean giving him a blank look before continuing down the hallway. "Good." Dean throws his hands into the air before following his grandfather.

I move to follow also, but stop when my head starts spinning. "Woah," I say, grabbing onto the wall for support.

"Lor," Sam says, placing a hand under my elbow and keeping me upright. "You okay?"

I turn my head to look behind me. I hadn't realized he was right behind me. "Yeah," I say shaking him off. The spinning in my head had gone as quickly as it came. "I'm good." I tell him. "Um, I think I'm just gonna head out to the car. I've, um…I'm starting to get a headache."

"You sure?" Sam asks. I nod my head before stepping around him and walking back out of the store.

I hadn't told Sam that I also felt like I was in an oven. Outside, the cool air feels amazing on my face. As soon as I feel that relief though, a coughing spell hits me. I double over, continuously coughing. Once I feel like I had coughed up both of my lungs, I stand up straight. A small smattering of red on my jacket sleeve catches my attention. I had a feeling I knew what was going on…but I was hoping I was wrong. Once by the car, I pull out my phone and call Kevin.

"Lorelei?" he answers.

"Kevin," I say. "Hey…um, I think it's happening."

"You think what- oh god," he says, understanding what I was talking about. "Have you told Sam and Dean yet?"

"No," I say, guiltily. He starts to yell at me, but I cut him off. "Hey, I'm sorry. I've been feeling really good these past few months so I though…I don't know, it went away or something."

"Lorelei," Kevin says. "This kind of thing does not just go away. You heard what they-"

"Yeah, Kevin, I know," I say. My hands start to shake as I sit on the hood of the car. "I just…I don't know…I'm scared. I'm scared of it."

He lets out a sigh. "You have to tell Sam and Dean," he says. "There may still be time to reverse it."

"We're in the middle of a case right now…a pretty hairy one," I say. "I'll tell them, everything, after we got this taken care of…okay?" Kevin reluctantly agrees to my decision and tells me by before hanging up the phone.

 _~xxxxx~_

As we walk through the cemetery later that night, I could feel Dean's eyes on me. Back at the comic store, Sam had told him what happened to me. I felt better now though, albeit a little shakey. "Dean, stop," I mutter under my breath. I hear him let out a grunt, challenging my order. "I'm fine. I said I'm fine, so I'm fine, okay?" He doesn't say anything, just picks up his pace, walking to the front of the group.

Finally, we reach a group of headstones and stop in front of them, each of us shining a light on them. "These were my friends," Henry says. "My mentors, our last defense against the Abaddons of the world."

"Here's your buddy Albert Magnus." Dean says, shining a light on the middle stone.

"Albertus Magnus. He was hardly a buddy." Henry says with a half chuckle. "He was the greatest alchemist of the middle ages."

"Okay, so why is he buried here?" I ask.

"He's not." Henry explains. "His was the alias we'd use when going incognito. I believe someone planted his name in that article... so that if a Man of Letters came looking for answers, he'd know something was amiss."

"So someone wanted you to come to this grave." Sam says.

"The question is why." Henry says.

We all step closer to the headstones, Dean's flashlight beam training on the hexagram-type symbol we'd been seeing all day with Henry. "What is this?" Dean asks.

"Our crest. The Aquarian Star, representing great magic and power." Henry say. "They say it stood at the gates of Atlantis itself."

"Hmm." Sam nods his head, moving his beam of light down the row of headstones, stopping on the last one. "It's on all the tombstones except for this one – uh, Larry Ganem."

Henry crouches down in front of the tombstone and looks at the cross-like symbol. "The Haitian symbol for speaking to the dead. This is the message." Henry says. He turns around and looks at Sam and Dean. "You boys ever exhume a body?"

 _~xxxxx~_

My wide-eyes, trained on the ceiling, finally move away from it and downwards to the sleeping figure next to me. After talking with Henry, for what seemed like hours, Dean and Sam finally decided to get some shut-eye. I agreed with them, but I was too scared to sleep. Pushing Dean's arm off my waist, I sit up to see Henry still sitting at the little dining room table our hotel room provided. I crawl off the bed and walk over towards him. "Not tired?" I say, pulling at chair out and sitting down.

He shakes his head, still looking at John Winchester's journal. "I just keep looking through this…" he says, flipping a page. "Thinking of all my son went through, because I wasn't there."

The corners of my mouth turn down a little. "I never met John," I say. "But I think you would've been proud of him."

Henry nods his head, finally looking up at me. "Are you feeling better?"

Back at the cemetery, I had almost passed out again…right into the open grave on top of everything. I shrug my shoulders. "Yeah, kind of," I say. "I guess I've just been running myself too hard lately."

He nods his head once and then shakes it again. "I'm sorry," he says. "I just never would've imagined there'd be female hunters."

I let out a chuckle. "Yeah," I say. "Four years ago, I didn't even know all this stuff existed."

"Do you mind me asking…how-"

I shake my head. "I don't mind," I say. "It was a 'wrong-place, wrong-time,' sort of thing. I used to be a school teacher, kindergarten actually, and during my summers off I worked as a waitress. One night I was closing up, it was just me and the bus boy still there, kid was only seventeen if that. He attacked me and was going to use me as part of some ritual. Before he could though, Dean and Sam came busting in and killed him. He was a witch or something like it. Anyways, after that, I caught the bug, wanted to know everything I could about the supernatural. Started out on my own, then crossed paths with Sam and Dean again." I let out a quiet chuckle. "I thought Dean was going to kill me when he found out I was hunting on my own."

"They asked you to join them then?" he says.

"Yeah," I say. "It was only just going to be for a week…so they could show me some pointers on how not to get myself killed mainly. Then…I just never left."

"They grew to care about you," he says, nodding his head. "Especially Dean."

A small smile curves up the corners of my mouth. "Don't let him hear you say that though," I say. "As weird as it is, and as untrue as it is…he'll vehemently deny anything is going on between us. I have a feeling he feels it'll make me a target or something."

Henry nods his head. "That's the thing about us Winchesters…"

"When you love someone, you'll do anything to save them," I say, also nodding my head. "Yes, I've been witness to that quite a few times." We sit in silence, me gazing at Henry, Henry gazing at John's journal. I let out a sigh, recapturing his attention. "You're thinking about going back to John…aren't you?"

"He's my son," he says, turning his eyes back towards the journal for a brief second. "In your weakened state…I'd rather not stop you from trying to stop me."

Despite the subject, I let out a quiet chuckle. "Well, I'd rather you not go, because you know as well as I do that if you go back…the man I love could quiet possibly disappear from existence." Henry nods his head, giving me a soft stare. "But, like I said, I learned long ago not to try and stop a Winchester from saving someone they love." I stand up from the table, Henry standing up with me. "The boys aren't big sleepers, so they'll probably only sleep for an hour or two more."

Henry nods his head before extending his hand. I also reach out, letting his warm hand envelope my cold one. "It was lovely meeting you Lorelei," he says.

I give him a smile. "You too, Henry."

 _~xxxxx~_

I wipe away an errant tear from my cheek as Sam hammers the cross into the ground, marking Henry's grave. "I get it now." Sam says, coming to stand in front of me and Dean.

"Hmm?" Dean says, still staring at the marker.

"What Cupid said about heaven busting ass to get Mom and Dad together." Sam says.

I nod my head. "The Winchesters and the Campbells – the brains and the brawn."

"Well, I'm glad you see it. All I see in our family tree is a whole lot of dead." Dean shakes his head as he reaches into a pocket and pulls out a photograph. "Hey, I, uh... found this in Henry's wallet."

I watch as Dean passes the photo of young John and Henry to Sam. "Dad looks happy." Sam says, handing the photo back to Dean. It hurt my heart to think this was such a foreign concept to them.

"Kind of makes you wish he knew the truth, huh?" Dean says. "I mean, all those years thinking his old man ditched when the poor son of a bitch really came here and saved our bacon. Freaking time-travel, man."

"You think it would have made a difference?" I ask.

"What?" Dean says, turning his head towards me.

"John," I say. "If he'd had his own father around."

"What, in how he raised us?" Dean says. "Lorelei, despite how we were raised, he did the best he could."

"I know that." I say, nodding my head. "I – I do. They all did."

Sam pulls the boxed key out of his pocket, turning the box over in his hand. "What are the chances that place is still standing?" Dean asks, talking about the Men of Letter's headquarters.

"A chance we've got to take, I guess." Sam says. As he puts the key back in his pocket, the three of us start to walk back towards the Impala. "I mean, we are legacies, right?"

"Um, you two are," I say, earning a small laugh from each of the boys. "What about me? This place going to stop me-" Before I can finish, a cough spell hits me. I only walk a couple more steps, but then stop when I realize the coughing wasn't easing any.

"Lor, you okay?" I vaguely hear Dean above me. I double over, still coughing. After a few seconds the coughing quickly turns into hacking dry heaves, huge blood clots spewing from my mouth and onto the ground. "What the hell?"

"Is this curse?"

"A demon?"

"Check her for a hex bag!" I push whoever it was that was checking me for a hex bag away from me.

"Not. A. Hex. Bag." I say, in between coughs. I reach out, grabbing onto someone's hand for support. I felt like I was dying. I think I was. "Get. Me. To. A. Hospital." I choke out. "Call. Kevin."

The last thing I remember is the familiar feeling of Dean's arms curled under my shoulders and knees, running me to the car and Sam shouting on the phone at Kevin…

 _~xxxxx~_

I look to my left, seeing my brother pacing the hallway of the hospital. Hospitals had never really made either of us antsy. But today, we were both on edge. Neither one of us had a clue why Lorelei had collapsed in the graveyard. We couldn't get ahold of Kevin, who apparently knew what was going on with her, so we were left in the dark…waiting on a doctor.

"Maybe we sould call Cas?" I suggest. Dean nods his head before sending up a quick prayer.

A minute later, Castiel appears, looking at us both confused. "Why are you two here?" he asks.

I wait to see if Dean was going to say anything, but he remains silent, staring off into space as he paces. I quickly explain to Cas what had happened in the graveyard, and the day before at the comic shop. "She told me," Dean says, finally speaking up. "Right after I got back from purgatory, that she had a health scare while I was gone. She wouldn't tell me what it was. Did you know anything about it?"

"No," Castiel says, shaking his head. "I thought something might had been off about her…last time we met. But, I didn't inquire further."

I could tell Dean was beyond pissed off. So pissed…he was speechless. The three of us continued to wait in the hallway for another hour, until finally, a nurse came and told us the doctor was ready to talk to us. We follow her to a small room with a few chairs and one of those tall fake plants. A few minutes later an older man in a long, white coat enters the already cramped-feeling room. "Your Lorelei Hasslehoff's family?" he says, looking at all of us.

"I'm her husband," Dean says. "This is my brother," he says, pointing at me. "And he's her brother," he says, gesturing towards Cas. "Now tell us what the hell is going on with her."

"Well, her counts are all elevated, mets have spread every-"

"Wait, wait, wait," I say, stopping the doctor. "What are you talking about?"

The doctor gives us a confused look. "Don't you…do you not know?" we continue to stare at him, not understanding what he was talking about. He settles his eyes directly on Dean, mustering as much compassion in his eyes as he can. "Mr. Hasslehoff…Lorelei has cancer."


	3. Chapter 3

"Why the hell didn't you tell us?"

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Lorelei, how could you-"

"Stop," I say, holding a hand up. The three men stare at me as I lay in my hospital bed, Dean the most pissed off looking of them all. "There was no point in telling you. This was inevitable-"

"Inevitable my ass," Dean says. "The doc told us that treatment could've at least prolonged-"

"If I had started it months ago," I say, cutting him off. "I was going to, but someone had to stay with Kevin. I had no choice."

Sam lets out a sigh as he hangs his head. "That's why you-"

"Came to see you, yes," I say, nodding my head. "I thought I could get some treatments at least. But, like I said, someone had to stay with Kevin."

"But you knew all this time," Dean says, his voice raised now. "You knew all this time, going out and doing hunts, probably making yourself worse, and you never said anything!"

"What good would it have done, huh?" I say, leaning forward a little. "What good would it have done if you three knew? Had me in a plastic bubble? Let me die in 'comfort'-"

"Don't say that-"

"What? Die?" I say. I knew it wasn't good of me to get worked up, but that's what Dean did to me. "You don't like the word 'die'? I'm _dying,_ Dean. I am going to lay here in this bed for the next two days, and I am going to die in it. If you can't handle that, then just get the hell out."

He doesn't say anything else, just hits the bedside table as he storms out of the room. "Lor," Sam says in his chastising tone. He turns his head and watches as Cas follows Dean out of the room. I lay back on the bed again, taking some deep breaths as I try to calm myself down. "You don't really want him gone. Like you said, you only have-"

"Do you really think I want to spend it with him yelling at me?" I say. My energy was waning. I was tired of fighting. "I don't know Sam," I say with a sigh. Pushing the button on the side of the bed, I lower the head down. "Maybe you should go with him. Go find that Men of Letters place."

"And leave you here by yourself?" he says, kindness in his voice. "I don't think so." He grabs a nearby chair, pulling it up next to the bed and sitting down. "You're not going to be alone."

I give him a weak smile, feeling my latest round of pain medicine kicking in. The nurses had said they'd give me some whenever I asked, enough to keep me pain free and comfortable. "Thank you," I say in a quiet, breathy voice. As I look at him, my emotions deceive me and tears start to fill my eyes. "I hope he comes back."

Sam reaches forward and gently grabs my hand, holding it in his. "He will," he says. "You know Dean…he'll be back."

 _~xxxxx~_

"How long has she been asleep?" I hear. I turn my head towards the door, seeing my brother standing there. I hadn't told Lorelei, but I was partly afraid he wouldn't come back.

"A couple hours," I say, rubbing a hand over my face. I watch Dean as he walks across the room and around the bed, stopping on the other side. His eyes never leave Lorelei. "Where've you been?"

"Talking to Cas," he says. "Calling anyone I could think of to help her. There's nothing to do though."

I look closer at my brother and see an emotion on his face I see very, very rarely…fear. He was scared of losing Lorelei…scared because he didn't know what to do…scared because there was nothing to do. "I think," I say, sitting up in the hard chair straighter and releasing Lorelei's hand. "I think she just wants us…you, really, to be here. Stay with her."

Dean continues to look at Lorelei, his eyes starting to get watery. "I don't know if I can do this man," he says. "I don't know if I can just sit here and watch her…."

"Don't think of it that way," a voice from the door says. We both turn to see a nurse standing in the doorway. She gives us a small smile as she walks into the room and over to the bed. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt. But it's best not to think of it as sitting here and watching her die."

"How should we think of it then?" I ask. I knew I had to speak up before Dean did…his question may not have been as nice.

"Think of it as," she says, reaching down to feel the pulse in Lorelei's wrist. "Think of it as just being with her. Being with her as she passes from this life, to the next. I take it from the cross around her neck, she's a religious person?"

Dean lets out a humorless chuckle. "You could say that," he says. Lorelei told me she used to be an avid church-goer, but now she wears the necklace more as a remembrance of her parents that had passed when she started college.

"Well," the nurse says, giving Dean a sympathetic smile. "Think of it as her leaving this place, for some place better."

We mumble some half-hearted thanks as she leaves the room. Once she's gone and the door is shut, Dean shakes his head as he pulls the recliner from the corner of the room next to the bed. "New rule," he says as he sits down. "No more 'she's off to a better place' people in here."

I let out a huff as I turn my head from him to the TV. "Agreed."

 _~xxxxx~_

I slowly start to open my eyes, the only lights in the room from the small light above the bed. When my eyes are fully open, the first thing I see is Dean, snoozing in a recliner. I muster up what energy I have and turn my head to see if Sam is still sitting on the other side of the bed. I see him across the room, instead, sprawled out on a stiff-looking couch. I had a feeling this is where the hospital put all the dying people, so that their families would be comfortable. "Hey," I whisper as I reach out to poke Dean's cheek. The act seems so childish to me, I can't help but smile.

Dean slowly starts to stir, looking around the room with half-closed eyes. When his eyes finally land on me, he opens them wider as if he had forgotten why he was there. "Hey," he says, sitting up straighter in the recliner.

"You came back," I whisper, smiling again. Maybe it was the morphine making me smile so much.

"You didn't really think I'd leave you alone…did you?" he says, grabbing both of my hands into his. "Lor…I'm sorry about-"

"I love you," I cut him off. The pull to go back to sleep was too strong. I wanted to say what I wanted, in case I didn't wake up again. Dean's face sobers up as he stares at me. "I don't know if I've ever told you that, but I do…I love you Dean Winchester. I don't regret anything that has happened between us. I don't regret the things we've had to do to save each other and I don't regret starting to hunt with you and Sam."

"Lorelei, you don't have to-"

"I know I don't," I say. "But I want to. I want you to know that I love you. Not because we're family or because of the sex or because of how many times you've saved me. But because I just do, I feel it in my bones, in my very being, every time I see you. I know it." I don't expect him to say it back, that wasn't the reason why I told him. It wasn't his style to do so. So, when a single tear rolls down his cheek, I'm a little shocked. Dean nods his head as his hands around mine tighten. I don't tell him that it hurts, I just let him silently reciprocate everything I had just told him. "Hey," I say, recapturing his attention. "Do you remember that time we were hunting that vampire nest and we had to get those county records, but the guy at the front desk wouldn't listen to you or Sam?"

Despite himself, Dean cracks a smile and nods his head. "So you put on that sexy red dress and went in there."

"Came back out with the records and his phone number in ten minutes," I say, a smile gracing my own face. "That was one of my favorite hunts."

"Yeah, only because you knew I got jealous," he says.

"Never took you for the jealous type."

"Only with you," he says. Dean stares at me, his green eyes boring into mine.

A little voice in the back of my head was sneering that this was the last time I would see them. I wanted to punch that little voice. "I'm scared, Dean," I whisper.

"I know," he says. One of his hands release mine, moving to smooth down the hair on the side of my head.

"No," I say, barely shaking my head. I was feeling so weak and tired again. I just wanted to sleep. "I'm scared for you." Dean's brows furrow together as he looks at me. "Once I'm gone, please don't shut yourself off. Especially to Sam and Cas. Stay with them. Cry. Talk to them. Whatever. Just don't shut yourself off. Okay?"

I can see it in his eyes that he doesn't agree with me. "Okay."

"You promise me Dean," I say, more force in my voice than I thought possible at this point. "You promise me right here and now."

I knew I wasn't going to get a promise out of him. Instead, he leans forward and presses his lips to my forehead. "Are you in any pain?"

I nod my head as he reaches across me and presses the nurse call button. A minute later, my nurse quietly comes into the room. As she comes in, I hear Sam stir. "Ready for some more morphine?" I nod my head again. I feel the I.V. move in my arm as she connects the syringe, my eyes screwing shut as the medicine burns my already fragile veins. When I open my eyes again, she's gone and Sam has taken her place.

"Good," I say, my breath becoming more labored. "You're both awake. There's some things we should discuss."

"Lor, we don't have to-"

I cut Sam off, grabbing his hand. "Yes, we do Sam," I say, looking up at him. I was lying on my back now, so I could see both of them. Sam sits down in the chair next to the bed as I keep ahold of his hand. "Unless you two have any major objections to it, I'd rather not have a hunter's funeral. The thought of being burned just freaks me out." I turn to look at Dean and see his face has turned to stone. I knew he wouldn't want to talk about this. "I don't need to be buried in a cemetery, anywhere you all see fit is fine. In my large black bag, there is a manila envelope. It has all the information for my savings account, and who gets what. All of it is in Kevin's name, but it is supposed to be divided up between the three of you." I pause for a moment to catch my breath. "When you call Kevin to tell him, make sure you tell him that he did nothing wrong, and thank him for everything he did for me. There's also a few letters in that envelope. I want you to hand them out for me."

"Okay," Sam says, nodding his head. Dean stays silent.

"I love you two," I say breathily. "Thank you for everything you did for me." I shut my eyes, feeling the lull of sleep dragging me down. "I think…I'm going to sleep for a little bit…"

"Okay," I hear Dean say. I feel his fingertips brushing my forehead. "We'll be right here. We're not going anywhere."

"Good," I whisper, weakly nodding my head. At that moment, a phrase comes back to me that I always told my students when we went on outings. Kindergarteners were notorious to running off, so I had to come up with creative ways to stay with the group. I knew in that moment, also, that I probably wasn't going to wake up. I just didn't have the strength for it anymore. The phrase, was something I wanted the boys to carry with them, to remember me by. "I'll stay with you, you stay with me, and then how happy the group will be…"

 _~xxxxx~_

I stare at Lorelei's stuff, sitting on the bed. It looked as if it were just waiting to be unpacked, but it never would be. She died about twelve hours after she fell asleep that last time. Dean just stared at her, like she was a doll once we realized she was gone. As she requested, we buried her. Dean hadn't said much since the doctor pronounced her death, but he was insistent on where to bury her. "This was her favorite place," he said with a gravelly voice. "She always told me that she loved running in the woods as a kid." So we buried in the middle of a forest in Missouri, about a three hour drive from the Men of Letter's bunker.

When I asked Dean what we should do with her stuff, he said he didn't care. I knew he did though. So, I picked a room in a far, back hallway of the bunker and placed her stuff on the bed. We could sort it out some other time. Before I walk out of the room though, I open her black bag she had mentioned and pull out the manila envelope. "Here's that envelope she told us about," I say a few minutes later, tossing the envelope on the large table in front of Dean.

He stares at me for a moment, pissed that I brought it out. I knew that if Dean had his way, we'd never talk about Lorelei again. But, I also knew that Lorelei would kick our asses for that. I think Dean realizes this and opens the envelope, dumping the contents onto the table. "We'll give all this legal crap to Kevin, let him deal with it," he says, sorting through everything. "Here," he flicks a small white envelope towards me, my name emblazed in Lor's calligraphy-type handwriting. "There's one for Kev and Cas too." Silence fills the library of the bunker as Dean continues to sort through all the contents of the envelope. There seemed to mainly consist of legal documents, letters to people, and pictures. I watch Dean as he stacks the pictures and then lays them face down off to the side.

"What are those of?" I ask him.

He shakes his head. "Some that she snapped of me and her," he says. "There's some of when she was a kid too."

I nod my head, not pressing the matter further. I pocket the letter, deciding to read it later. "You know," I say, looking around at the stacks of books surrounding us. "She probably would've wept at the sight of this place."

"Yeah," Dean says as he takes a drink of his liquor. "Somehow she was an even bigger nerd than you."

Despite the heavy feeling in the room, I let out a chuckle and crack a smile. "She did love books," I say. The realization that she was gone crashes down on me again and I shake my head. "Out of all the crap she's been through with us, all the stuff she even faced on her own…I just can't believe-"

"World is a messed up place, Sammy," Dean says before finishing off his drink. I watch him as he stands up, grabbing the letter marked for him and the pictures as he rises from his chair. I don't question where he's going to walk off to and I don't say anything about the other drink he pours himself before he starts to walk from the room. I shake my head as I watch him disappear down a hallway. Since I have a moment alone, I pull out Lorelei's letter and decide to read it.

" _Dear Sam,"_ it starts, " _Well, this sucks, doesn't it? We live our lives fighting the supernatural and dealing with legends of old. Despite this, we tend to forget that we're only human…"_


End file.
